My Blog Entry #1: My Unhealthy Obsession for Zack Morris

I am torn. Those two damn choices that dictate what I would like to be and what I ultimately end up having to admit to myself that I am. I can right now cross out being a Director. I may seem like one to my family, always wanting to act as the strong, decision making leader, but when it comes to relationships, the Director is more what I look for, not what I strive to be. Builder is also not, in any way, what I would consider myself to be, and rightly so. At 20, my mentality is in no way directed toward family-first values or traditional. Sure, I may enjoy a good pearl necklace while I vacuum but I sure as hell won’t consider that my sole position in life. The two I’m torn on are the Negotiator and the Explorer. It’s funny how I’m torn between these two at this point in my life because right now, I’m wondering which one of these I am so I can know whether to stay with my current boyfriend or do as my Explorer mentality tells me and leave for the newer and more refreshing experiences in life. I’m torn, in both this entry and my life.

mark_paul_gosselaarIf I wanted to understand whether or not it was biology that chose who I was going to pick in my life or society, believe me, I’d rest a lot easier. Even if there was a biological instance that told you who is best for your life, I don’t think there are enough people in this world that listen to their bodies about who to choose, and instead rely on their subconscious connections to those they watched when they were younger. For example, their parents or Zack Morris from Saved By The Bell in my case.  If I was raised in Iran, instead of Orange County, I can pretty much guarantee that I would not have my thing for nerdy blondes that I have right now, let me tell you.

I could say that mass media completely shaped me to be the love type that I am, but the more I think about it, the more I don’t think that’s the case. I have a feeling that whether or not I saw the psycho girls on Melrose Place or the witty antics of Lucille Ball on I Love Lucy, I’d still be the Negotiator/Explorer that I am mostly because of my mom. My mom is a Negotiator/Director to an extreme extent. Her negotiator lifestyle was more toward my sister and I while her director mentality was mostly for business and my father. Though my love type might not have been shaped by mass media, I know for a fact that my preference for men was shaped by mass media greatly.

photo_matthew_perry1I can name two guys from mass media, right off the top of my head, that pretty much shaped who I’m going to end up with when I get married. Those two are Mark-Paul Gosselaar who played Zack Morris on Saved By The Bell, and Matthew Perry who played Chandler Bing on Friends. Anderson, Huston, Schmitt, Linebarger, and Wright from the Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development wrote that “early experiences, such as television viewing, have greater effects when they counteract normative developmental trends and predominant sex-typed socialization influences than when they reinforce them.” Which was exactly what helped me shape my view on who I would be attracted to in the future. My mom constantly jokes about how ALL the guys I choose in some way, shape or form have either a resemblance to Zack Morris’ looks or Matthew Perry’s personality. I blame it on the fact that I had an older sister who wouldn’t ever let me watch cartoons and ultimately got me to end up demanding that she keep the shows on.

If your question is whether or not I think love types are an act of nature or nurture? I say nurture, definitely. End of story. Game over. No contest. That crazy Helen Fisher doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

Anderson, D;  Huston, A;  Schmitt, K;  Linebarger, D;  Wright, J (2001).  Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development. MONOGR SOC RES CHILD DEV; 66(1): vii-viii, 1-145.

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